Sometimes it seems like I live in a very oppressive society. I am wary of any form of public self-expression, either in speech or in writing, because I fear ridicule. Could this be a common occurence? Is it why the most succesful Irish writers have to go abroad to realise their full potential?
I have great ideas, and then as soon as I have a pen in my hand I start to worry. How will this be percieved? By friends, family, strangers on the street. The only time I let myself go is when I write something that I have no intention of ever sharing. Even then, I am somewhat inhibited.
I thought that a blog might help me somewhat. Writing in a public forum composed primarily of non-Irish people that I don’t know seemed like just what I needed. But still, when I find the time to blog (and I never make it my first priority), all I can think about are the insignificant details of my relatively boring life. It’s very strange considering only a few “real world” people know about this site, and I don’t think any of them are judgemental. I should be able to reach the same standard of content and style that I achieve in my paper journal, maybe with a bit more entertainment value, but there’s still something holding me back.
I guess I’m just insecure.